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recently thoughts

Hello blog!

it's been loong time, I haven't post my story here. so much to tell, but I don't think that I could resuming all of those story.

but this time, i wouldn't tell you what happen after all this time. I want to tell something I thought lately. We all have friend or maybe friends. which one do you prefer? have a several friend but you can rely on or so many friends but you don't know they as much as you need to know?

I just realize, I'm lil bit overwhelmed to have good friends around me. okay, it's not like I'm not grateful with people surround me, but sometimes it's hurt when you think that you can not always stay beside all of them. scheduling to meet them one by one, because they have different way to play or to talk (if you have many pair groups from your stage of life). feeling guilty because you think that sometime you take sides.

and I just realize that I'm a possessive one. I feel jealous when my friends have another friend whom i know. yes I know their friend also. we have same school. okay, I tell you, maybe because of he is a man for me. my very best friend is a man. huh. but sometime i also feel like that to my girls. I know that I'm not supposed to feel that way. maybe because of my spoiled nature make me want to be center of attention

and maybe friendship between me and opposite gender, which is a man, will never work out. there will always baperness and other name to ruin each feeling. togetherness is kinda addictive for me which make me feel possess of something or someone.

the last thought is I think about marriage....
hah, it's a hot subject around my life recently. in the beginning 20 age, many friends of me decide to take more serious step, be wife or husband in young age. in my dudulness about feeling too much about togetherness make me want to take this step. but I know it's not easy and I'm not ready yet.

in the end, I just lift my hands and say all my prayer.
the only way to feel better, the only way to feel loved, the only way to feel calm.

why I write this? just to entertain you with my wild mind and also to practice my english. hahaha

remember to always happy! that's only what we can make for free by our own.

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